alone in a crowd
As I walked around the crowded scene at the first home football game, I couldn't help but think of how desolate it looked to me. Neither of my parents were there and Jason was in Lawrence. Plus most of my friends graduated last year. The pang of lonliness hit as I stood alone in a crowd, thinking of how things have changed. Up to this point I'd been able to avoid thinking of how different life was with my dad several 100 miles away. Knowing everyone around me and at the same time feeling utterly alone, it almost felt like a scene from a movie where everything around the main character is moving so fast but they're just standing still. I heaved a big sigh and went to find the people I call friends.It was different at this last football game. Dad was home and I felt more connected to the things around me. I never noticed how just knowing someone is there makes a place more friendly. I didn't even have to see him or go find my family, but just the thought that if I wanted to, I could disconnect from the superficial world and hang out with my family.
I guess I've been overestimating the power of modern technology. I could talk to my dad almost anytime I wanted to and could send pictures back and forth through blogger or email, but I just haven't done it very much. Taellor said something about only going to the homecoming dance because she didn't want to go home. I hope no one takes their family for granted. This scenario is much better than one where you could never talk to your family again but it is still almost as bad. What a cruel little game to play where someone is ripped from your grasp just to dangle in front of you again a moment later.
posted by Caity @ 9:21 AM
2 Comments:
Another good post Caity. You're a good writer when you focus! It also about brought a tear to my eye reading through this. I love you too!
That alone in a crowd feeling is something you'll have to face more and more in life, like when you start college, but it gets easier, you learn to deal with it. I thought that homecoming game was a little depressing because I'm used to seeing a huge crowd at homecoming games, and it seemed kinda dead.
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